what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
