a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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