Will you blow on my dice?
the condom got lost in my hair
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
