VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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