Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
