on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
