What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
