ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
