forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
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I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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