I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize