There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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