We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
