Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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