I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
