So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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