you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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