I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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