ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
