I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
