wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
