Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize