none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just had sex bonerless
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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