Porn is love you can see.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
