I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
