Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
