Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
