Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
