I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
