is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
