i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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