What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
