wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize