the condom got lost in my hair
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
