Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
thus making me awesome and them whores
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
