He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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