did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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