I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
