How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
