hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We left an ass print on the piano.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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