I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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