just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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