i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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