I hate all girls vehemently.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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