Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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