i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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