I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i love accidental penises.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
