Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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