I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
