Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do herpes really smell.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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