Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
