I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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