The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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