Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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