Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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