He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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