That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
