Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She's JV to your varsity
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
