He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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