Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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