yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
only if we run a train.
done.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
