i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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