So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
