six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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